Dealing with Loss

Losing someone you love is never easy. Be it a family member, boyfriend, girlfriend, husband, wife, best friend, you name it. We've all been through it. And no matter how long passes, it still hurts over time.

I've been an incredibly lucky person in life as in my first 19 years, I only had the loss of two beloved dogs. I never thought anything could be worse than losing our second dog Benji, my heart hurt for weeks. Over time though, I grew to accept that his short time with us was for a reason. After all, he was a stray dog who had no real love or life, then he came into our house and was loved as much as possible until he passed. Losing a pet is hard. But I never knew real loss until I lost a close family member.

Growing up, my brother and I were always super close to our paternal grandparents and maternal grandfather. We'd have Sunday lunches with them, have large family Christmas', long chats in front of the fire with my granda, and so many other memories I will cherish forever. 

I remember telling my grandparents I was heading to England for uni. They were sad I had to leave but really supportive, as were my parents and brother. Though secretly I think my brother was just really happy to now have the entire upstairs of the house to himself! Telling my granda Tommy felt different. We visited him like we usually do and I told him my news. Again, he was really supportive and proud of me, and the conversation soon turned to another topic. When we usually leave, we all say our goodbyes and get waved off by my granda. They say it's always the little things you remember...

This time however, my mum suggested giving my granda a hug goodbye as it would be a few weeks until I would next see him. Something about this hug felt so special. All hugs from the people you love feel special, but this one was different. It's difficult to pinpoint exactly what made it feel different in that moment, but little did I know that it would be the last time I would hug my granda again. 

A few weeks into my first year at uni, I got the devastating news that my granda was in hospital after having a stroke. It was a hug shock to us all as at 84, my granda was one of the fittest men I knew! He would cycle upwards of 30 miles a day on his bike, and walked everywhere. My decision was to stay at uni as I knew that I would drop out and not go back, one thing I'm sure my granda wouldn't have wanted me to do. Although that's what he would have wanted, my decision pains me to this day. I feel terrible for not being there for him. After a few weeks in hospital, I got the news on the 20th November 2014 that my granda has passed away. 

People say it gets easier over time, but even two years on I'm still sat in tears writing this.

My granda Tommy was and will always be one of my favourite people. He inspired me, always encouraged my brother and I do our best, and was one of the loveliest people I have had the pleasure of knowing. I love him with all my heart, and there's not a day goes by that I don't think about him. 

Until the next time,

Catherine

Time Flies

Hello dear readers,

I can safely say that I'm really not very good at keeping up with my blog.

So what have I been up to over the past 12 months? Well here's a quick break down:

• Spent Christmas and New Years with family.
• Attended a number of fancy dinners across the UK. 
• Spent many hours in the cold doing bucket collections.
• Spent many hours signing people up to the stem cell register.
• Helping raise over £3500 for the charity Anthony Nolan and signing up 163 new people to the stem cell register.
• Busting myths surrounding donating stem cells and bone marrow.
• Attending various meetings and AGMs with Marrow. 
• Holding 12 recruitment events (so far)!
• Attended a number of birthday bashes.
• Passed second year with a 2:1.
• Trips around my beautiful homeland. 
• Got a job in Canterbury.
• Visiting Megan in Sheffield. 
• Voted in as President and Recruitment Manager of Kent Marrow <3 
• Awarded with the Community Volunteer of the Year award at the Kent Union awards.
• Catching up with some old and new friends.
• Trips to London.
• Seeing The Phantom of the Opera. 
• Attending many weeks of cadet camps.
• Seeing Les Mis for my birthday.
• Visiting Poland.
• Kent Marrow winning the Communications award at the AGM. 
• Countless hours of planning Marrow events.
• Being bridesmaid for my best friends wedding.
• Surprised my granda with a visit home for his birthday.
• And many other things too!

It's been a pretty busy 12 months!

As busy as the last 12 months have been, the next 6 are going to be even busier. Third year is great but it is also extremely hard. This year has been the best module wise, with modules in cancer biology, haematology and blood transfusion, biology of ageing, virology, and others, I'm still really enjoying my course. I feel I've matured more as an adult now too, having taken on more responsibility in Marrow and in cadets, as well as having to balance an academic, work and social life, I feel a lit bit more prepared to take on the world! 

Until the next time, 

Catherine xxx

PS. Here's some pictures to sum up the past year.

5 Months Later...

Good evenin' people of the internet!

Before you say it, I know, I've been away for a while...well five and a half months. Terribly sorry about that!

Lots of highly exciting things have happened over the past few months so allow me to give you a brief summary of everything that has been going on.

Getting back in the saddle
One thing I really missed whilst at uni was getting to ride so being able to spend time out at the yard with the horses is always amazing and so very relaxing!

Getting Quizical

One of the local bars at home holds a quiz once a week so myself and a couple of friends (and Tal one time) went along. Our team 'Sister Jude and the Supremes' were so on fire that we ended up coming second both times we went, winning two £50 vouchers! We spent the first on Thursday night cocktails on my 21st birthday and then went for a lovely meal to spend our second voucher. It was lovely just being able to have a catch up and a good laugh with friends.

My 21st!
I spent my birthday with friends and family (Tal included!), exactly what I wanted to do. I was spoilt rotten of course, getting a new watch from my parents and an antique flute from Tal. He keeps insisting that I play it as that's what it's there for, but I think I'll just wait....I'm a little bit rusty! My parents prepared a lovely family lunch with my grandparents. It was so delicious and they even got me little ice cream cupcakes as my birthday cake,

Leicester
Tal and I went to Leicester to visit a uni friend for her birthday. Tal had bought himself a car a few weeks before this so our road trip to Leicester was the real test drive of little Duncan! The drive up was great fun, even though it was my first time driving on a motorway. Fun fact: the slowest we drove was actually on the motorway! For Abbie's birthday, we went for a lunch in a cute little restaurant, chilled watching movies and playing board games, and the next morning we went for afternoon tea. It was so lovely to be able to relax and spend time with friends from uni who I had missed dearly!

Dorset
I returned to England at the end of July to attend a party in Dorset. It was lovely to see more familiar faces and to be able to spend more time in the peaceful countryside. I got to go for a few hacks in my few days in Dorset. It was a lovely change of pace and scenery and very much needed! We returned to Dorset shortly after the first visit for a few days, just to relax and take it easy before the hectic few weeks we had ahead of us!

We can never seem to take a normal picture!

Annual Camp
After our travels around England, it was time for Tal and I to head off to Longmoor for Kent ACF's annual camp. The two weeks were very testing, exciting and so much fun in the end. I found it difficult to start with as I didn't know very many people, I was thrown in at the deep end too with it being my first camp as an adult instructor with everything being completely new to me! I learnt a lot from the camp and made some wonderful new friends.

Return to Canterbury
After a few days relaxing, it was time to pack up the car and head back to Canterbury, ready for the new term to start. We moved into our new house on the first of September and it didn't take long for all of us to settle in. We've had a few rough patches but we were all ready to start of our second year!

Freshers
Our entire household was involved in the arrivals weekend. We all helped move the freshers into the college we lived in last year, got to meet and have a chat with the new students about uni life and again got to see friends from on campus again.
The end of the week so the most exiting event of the week: freshers fair! Marrow had their stall on the second day and it was wonderful to represent such a great society. There was so much interest from new and current students and we ended up with about 130 names added to our mailing list! Elena and I went on a walk to hand out leaflets and meet little Teddy the pony! Freshers fair was a great success and we were all looking forward to the exciting events planned out for the year!

Teddy!

Second Year Life
I didn't think my course could get any better but it really has! During this first term I am taking Investigation of Disease, Skills for Bioscientists 2, Human Physiology and Disease 2 and Metabolism and Metabolic Disease. My modules are all so interesting but with that the work load has increased...surprisingly enough! In lab practicals we have been given the opportunity to begin to plan our own experiments, making us think more about what we're doing and not just following a method step by step.

Marrow AGM
The second weekend in October saw the Kent Marrow Committee travel up to Leeds for the Marrow Annual General Meeting. We got to meet lots of other marrow groups from across the UK, were given lots of great ideas and actually got to meet people who have been affected by stem cell donations, both donors and recipients. On the Saturday evening we all dressed up for the awards evening and dinner. I happened to head to the bathroom with a couple of the committee members and actually ended up running into someone I know, it's such a small world! After the dinner everyone headed out to the clubs but little old me and Elena were coming down with something so headed back to the hotel for an early night. On our final day, we had some final training and talks. I attended one about cord blood donations which was fascinating and something that I didn't realise happened! We headed home and all hit the hay after a long, exciting and rewarding weekend.

Marrow
The work of Kent Marrow didn't end at the AGM! We hit the ground running and had our first bucket collection and recruitment event (which was actually before the AGM) and raised £36 on a cold day in Canterbury town and were able to sign up 29 people, bringing our total to 44 so far!
Since then, we've had another on campus bucket collection and have three more recruitment events planned for the next month so it's all go with the committee!

Surprise Visit Home

My brother and I had planned a trip for me to come home at the end of July so we kept this secret from my parents for three months! I came in the back door and put my arms around both my parents, giving them quite the fright, they definitely were not expecting it....secret well kept! It was lovely to be able to spend time with my family and not have to worry about working or deadlines. We went out for dinner, went on a family shopping and trip and spent Remembrance Sunday with my grandparents watching my brother. My friends arranged for us to head out for a meal on the Saturday night, it's fair to say that they were pretty shocked too!

Alice and Naomi take a lovely, normal picture.....

...and then there's Jenny and I!

Apologies for such a brief post of what I've been up to. If I told you everything that's been happening, not only would it fill a book, but you would have fallen asleep by now!

Until the next time,
Catherine xxx

Eating, Baking and Running a Mile

Hello!

A dear friend of mine from school (can find her blog here) has been creating a list for the past two years of things she wants to complete/do that year, so I decided to give it a go myself!

Some of the things on the list are so silly but are things I've possibly wanted to do for a long time:

1. Make someone smile

2. Run a complete mile

3. Make a meal with friends

4. Visit an art gallery

5. Blog more

6. Cook my family a meal

7. Read Game of Thrones

8. Have a confident jumping lesson

9. Try a new food

10. Have someone draw me

11. Start a new hobby

12. Visit a new Kentish town

13. Celebrate my 21st

14. Catch up with the gals

15. Buy a lottery ticket

16. Donate money

17. Take a dance lesson

18. Meet someone new

19. Have a friend come stay with me in Kent

20. Finish the Harry Potter series

21. Have a successful Marrow recruitment

22. Binge watch Friends

23. Make a pasta sauce from scratch

24. Try a new sport

25. Take more pictures

26. Bake a cake

27. Make a romantic meal for T

28. Take up French again

29. Bake a loaf of bread

Number 1 - This was possible one of the easiest things on my list, one I completed as soon as II completed the list as I showed it to Tal and he smiled just by some of the things on it! But if we don't count that one, one of my housemates was having an incredibly difficult time during the exam period so I just sat down and had a chat with her, she cried and I told her to think of fat cats; my way of dealing with people crying is changing the subject to something funny and just patting them...I am so bad with emotions and people!

Number 2 - I really wanted to get back into shape after barely any exercise and comfort food during the exam period, I decided to take up running again. This is quite a small one for many other people but I did it and I am so proud of myself for being able to complete this one, and in such a short period of time! I only started running again last week!

Number 6 - I completed this one on my second day home this term. I did do it with my brother but we made breakfast and lunch for the family because it was Father's Day. We made eggs and toast fr breakfast (we are incredible chefs) and a sausage casserole for lunch. It really went down a treat!

Number 9 - Dan and Kirsty decided that they were going to have a 'burger off' one night. Tal and I volunteered to be the judges (so glad that we did!) to see who would have made the best burger.

Dad made a proper man's burger with bacon and cheese which was to die for, I really did enjoy it. Kirsty opted for a gourmet burger with garlic, green pepper and my new food avocado. I really did enjoy this different burger as it's not something I would have picked for myself at all but the added avocado was lovely and the flavour was great! Yes the burgers were just between slices of toast but I can assure you that they were still very yummy!

Number 16 - I feel that it's always a great thing to give to charity, whether it be money or volunteering, and I always try to if I can, sometimes (especially when around campus this year) I don't actually carry any money with me and I always feel terrible for not giving... But I did get the opportunity to give to charity last term through the UKC Mental Health Group. They hosted various de-stress with dogs days with lots of lovely little Pets as Therapy (PAT) dogs. I was very lucky to actually get a slot with the adorable Maurice after donating money for PATs animals. If you'd like to find out more about PAT dogs and cats then click here!

He looked far too cute in his little jacket and even gave me kisses!

Number 18 - I was introduced to two lovely gals called Meg and Cristina by not only my housemate but one of my course mates/marrow buddies who is living with them both next year. They are both such lovely girls and I got to spend a really nice evening at a fancy bar called The Pound in Canterbury with them before the end of term.

Cristina, me, Meg and Elena before heading to The Pound

These are just a number of the things I'd like to do this year, no doubt I will have other this added on to the list over the next few months. It's an incredibly random list with something seeming very simple but they do say it's the simple things in life that make you the most happy!

Until the next time,

Catherine xxx

Song of the day: Defying Gravity from Wicked

Reflection

Good evening readers!

I got very bad at the whole blogging thing...which then got worse...so I'm terribly sorry about that, I've had exams and work that comes along with being a university student. But thankfully all exams are over (whoopie!) and I have returned to the homeland: beautiful Northern Ireland.

The past two months since my last post have really just been filled with revision, lovely dining with Tal, and exams. We had the pleasure of additionally attending a company dinner for the University of London Officer Training Corps held in the Cathedral Lodge. We had such a great time with some lovely people, yummy food and most importantly, lots of wine! But before I get started on the wine chat, let's get down to business; I thought I'd take this blog post to reflect on my first year at university.

After an unexpected gap year in 2013, I never thought that I would get into university. My hopes of further education seemed incredibly bleak. After a few exam retakes and applying yet again through UCAS (and you thought it was bad doing it the once!), I had submitted all my choices for Biomedical Science. On results day I was terrified. What if I didn't get into university for a second year? What would I do then? To my complete surprise, University of Kent had given me an unconditional offer. I was going to university!! The shock and excitement was something else, I just couldn't believe that it was finally happening!

September came and it was time to head off to Canterbury for the next three years. I have been so very lucky with the people I live with on campus, I couldn't have asked for a nicer bunch of people! The biomed course has been better than I could have expected, well, with the exception of the chemistry module! Being able to get back into the labs, not having to worry about learning about plants and being surrounded by science students on a daily basis has been amazing.

Outside lectures and practicals I have had such a great time volunteering with Kent RaG and Kent Marrow. I have been so lucky to have met some amazing people through both and have had the great opportunity to be part of the committee for Kent Marrow for 2015/16 as recruitment co-coordinator. 

The year itself has been extremely challenging. Within a number of weeks of starting I received the news from home that my incredibly fit grandfather had had a stroke and had been hospitilised. As I was always close to all my grandparents I had the horrible decision to either stay and carry on with my course or to go home and more than likely pull out until he got better. After quite an in depth chat with my parents, it was decided that I would stay at uni. I received the devastating news on Thursday the 20th of November that my grandfather had passed away. I am completely and will continue to be heartbroken at the death of my granda Tommy, one of my most important role models. It's never easy to deal with the loss of a loved one, but even harder to not have been there for them. My granda would want me to hold my head up high and get cracking on with my course, so that's what I did. I got my head down and got to it for my granda. 

The course got even better (if that was even possible!) and everyone was so supportive of me in what I have been doing that it really had me on such a high. I then about two months ago found out that my paternal grandmother was diagnosed with lymphoma, cancer of the lymph nodes. Thankfully she is in no pain and is in high spirits. It was so lovely to be able to see both her and my other granda this afternoon to catch up and keep them updated on what I had been up to and how exams went.

All in all this year has been an incredibly difficult one but I am eternally grateful to have got onto my course and to have so much support from my family, friends and my right hand man Tal. I have so much love for these amazing people!

Until the next time

Catherine xxx

Song of the day: Pure Imagination from Charlie and the Chocolate Factory

Home Sweet Home

Afternoon!

I'm so excited to be writing to tell you all that I have finally returned to the homeland after twelve long weeks in Canterbury! Don't get me wrong, I love Canterbury as much as the next person but you just can't beat being at home.

I've had a nice few relaxing days with my family, seeing friends and finally being able to take pictures again with my camera (which I missed so very much!) at a local training show at the Riding for the Disabled Association on Friday. Unfortunately I still haven't managed to figure out the camera yet so it's all a learning curve. It also didn't help that it was almost out of battery, but what can you do!

I'm home until early in May when I will be returning to uni for the most wonderful time of the year: exams...It's rather scary how quickly this year has gone in, I honestly don't know where the time has went. It honestly feels like I only started first year only last week! This year has been one of the best and equally one of the worst years of my life. Some things I would love to change but others I wouldn't. We're thrown into some situations at the deep end and are forced to figure it all out ourselves. I've learnt this year that I don't have to do that, I have friends and family who are more than willing to help me, no matter how reluctant I am to ask for their help!

I shall leave this post being short and sweet as I can imagine it will get far too mushy and my lunch is calling me. I'm doing you all a favour, trust me!

Until the next time,

Catherine xxx

Instead of shuffle of the week (as my iPod will be staying at home this term) I will be having a song of the week instead.

My song of the week: Sia - Chandelier : I think this song is great and have so much love for little Maddie Zieglar

A Royal Engagement

Howdy!

I started writing this blog over a week ago (apologies for not finishing and posting it) but I've had quite a few busy days so have been finding it rather difficult to find the time to post, especially with deadlines and exams coming up.

Since my last blog, I've been catching up and getting on top of my lectures. I've been spending a lot of time recently watching them over again which is exceptionally helpful as you pick up the smallest things when you're able to watch/listen to them by yourself. Though it is a shame that only two of my lecturers actually record their lectures, but what can you do!

I had my first human physiology and disease practical on Tuesday (17th March), working with blood for the first time! Some might think it's rather gross but I was very much looking forward to it. We had to do a cell count of red blood cells taken from a diluted sample of pig's blood, separate white blood cells from the rest of the blood sample using density centrifugation and then count the white blood cells, identify and sketch a lymphocyte and neutrophil (two types of white blood cell) and carrying out a haemagglutination test to assess levels of antiserum activity using rat blood cells and anti-rat red cell serum. It was such an interesting experiment and one that I felt would be most beneficial and enjoyable as this is similar to what I would like to possible do after getting my degree.

It also happened to be St Patrick's day so I supported my beautiful country in wearing a green dress as I wasn't planning on doing anything else to celebrate as it's just not the same when you're away from home.

Our haemagglutionation test results

A look down the microscope!

Last weekend (20-22nd March) was the first weekend in the past few months that I've had to myself and it was so relaxing and wonderful (sorry Tal, I did miss you I promise!). It was spent doing work during the daylight hours on Saturday and watching various YouTube videos I had to watch up on from my favourite Vloggers and also watching one of my all-time favourite childhood films: A Bug's Life. It's been years since I've watched it, I'm so glad to have stumbled upon it again! Sunday was again spent doing some work, laundry and surprising Tal at the train station on his way back from London. I was rather shocked to learn that he had no idea that I would come down to meet him, which made it all the better. 

I had the wonderful joy of telling Tal all about Ireland winning the 6 Nations, of which I'm sure he loved!

Last week was filled with lectures, a practical and being spoilt by Tal. I was treated to dinner on Wednesday and lunch on Thursday. Tuesday evening was the annual general meeting for Marrow so I attend as this was the evening that speeches for candidates for next years committee were given. I decided to run for the role of recruitment officer as I feel that I already have good connections in various places that would enable me to find good areas have our recruitments. The week before was Marrow awareness week. We held bucket collections and two recruitments, one here at UKC and one down at the other university in Canterbury, Canterbury Christ Church University. It was a great few days as we managed to get about 70 people signed up between those two days and managed to hit our 100th new possible donor this year. This means that out of everyone signed up this year, statistically at least one of them will donate stem cells! Such an amazing achievement that I am so proud to say I was part of, considering I am one of those 100 people!

Me after I gave a spit to join the stem cell register

Our table all ready for possible donors

Thursday 26th of March is a day I will not forget for a very long time. Tal and I went into town at about 12 noon and didn't return until 5pm. We went to chocolate cafe (no surprises there!) and I had a wonderful cinnamon and orange hot chocolate whilst looking out over the cathedral and the streets below. This was no ordinary day as only a few hour earlier to coming into town I had been glued to my laptop, constantly refreshing the page I was looking at. It was tracking the progress and whereabouts of a special certain someone who was coming to Canterbury that day. I am aware this makes me sound like a creepy stalker but I assure you, I am not. About 12 she was on the move, driving up the motorway (or should I say driven), heading our way. I was bouncing around with excitement at the prospect of seeing this marvelous lady. That wonderful lady was of course the Queen. She had been in Folkstone previously that morning, and was coming to Canterbury cathedral to unveil two statues of her and Philip to celebrate her diamond jubilee. We both stood for hours waiting to see if we could catch a glimpse of the Queen but to no avail. I was exceptionally downhearted, so Tal suggested going to the chocolate cafe to cheer me up. It had worked but I was still rather upset until I checked my phone to see that the Queen had arrived and was within the walls of the cathedral. The front gates of the cathedral were closed but there was a slight gap that myself and little six year old George were able to look through. After about twenty minutes of standing looking through the gap, I was rewarded with my first glimpse of a beautiful blue/turquoise/teal outfit walking down the path from the cathedral. I had not only just had a glimpse of Her Majesty the Queen but she was also wearing my favourite colour! I am in no way ashamed to say that I cried, and cried and couldn't stop crying. We walked towards the not-so-secret exit that the the Queen and the Duke of Edinburgh would be leaving through. I thankfully managed to stop the waterworks upon arriving. I wouldn't have wanted Elizabeth to see me with puffy watery eyes now, would I? We waited for twenty minutes but again were rewarding with seeing both the Queen and the Due of Edinburgh leave in their gorgeous Bentley. I had to take a video because I knew I would miss getting a picture as my hands were shaking like crazy but I can now say that I have saw one of my all time favourite people and was only two metres away from her at one point! And less than a metre away from the Duke of Edinburgh who had the biggest smile on his face I have ever seen and was waving away at the crowds. 

        

Looking out for the Queen 

Whilst waiting we got interviewed for the local paper!

Can you see anything?

(First three photos from Canterbury Times)

My half finished yummy hot chocolate

The wait was finally over!!

The unveiled diamond jubilee statues

The past few days since the Queen's visit have been rather quiet in comparison but Tal and I decided we would take a trip to Herne Bay on Saturday to get us away from the stresses of work and being on campus. We had such a wonderful day having chips on the beach (only downside is there are no sandy beaches around here), went for a walk along the pier, played mini golf which I was absolutely awful at and had some ice cream before heading back to finish off some work and watch '1 Million Ways to Die in the West'. If you don't mind a bit of crude humor then this is the comedy for you, it's honestly hilarious. It was my second time watching the film but I still loved it second time around.

Sunday was spent doing some more work and my weekly Skype back home to ma familia which never fails to put a smile on my face and have my sides split in two as they are just so brilliant and hilarious! I honestly cannot wait to go home to see them all again (only 14 days!!!). It was then my turn to pick the movie on Sunday night so I picked yet another childhood classic: The Lion King. It had been years since I had last watched it so stayed up to after 3am watching it but didn't quite manage to make it the entire way through as tiredness just took over.

Strike a pose!

Concentration face...

The pier at Herne Bay; still lovely despite a wet and windy day

And that brings you up to today, which will just be another library day like yesterday as I haven't had any lectures the past two days. Tune back in a couple of days when I will telling my experience about cutting up my hair for the wonderful Little Princess Trust. 

Until next time,

Catherine xxx

Shuffle of the week: Lauren Aquilina - Wonder (Lauren's quite a newish artist so do check her out!)